Elul Day 10 (Cocoon)
Elul is the time to withdraw.
The static respite before the shock
(bright and electric)
I don’t want to stop, to pause or reflect;
I want the comfort of death
without the forgetting.
I stay awake through the nights,
gluttonously cramming my dreams back
down inside of me
(forgetting them upon waking)
so I cannot hear that faint voice.
I cling insistently to fear
Though it sears my fingertips;
It is familiar.
I weep at intervals,
eyes open, eyes closed –
while driving down the boulevards and my progress
is suddenly halted by the traffic lights.
Stop. Her voice comes to me
through the speakers of my car.
Stop creating God in the image of your fears.